UNFULFILLED LOVE

My tears run down like razor blade. As a teenager it is normal to us to feel in love with someone. Heartbreaks and hurts are part of the consequences as we explore into this world so called love. All this occur when the one you love, loves someone else.

For my seventeen years in this world, I never felt in love in my high school days. Now that I'm already in college, this is just the first time I felt this kind of feeling towards someone. This guy is not the most handsome in the campus, he is just a simple one, he just stays wherein he is not being the center of attraction. He is just an ordinary one only bonds with his friends and classmates and he never makes any moves to be the talk of the campus. His friends told me that he is humble and intelligent, the characteristics that attracted me most to him. Every time I and my classmates saw him, they used to tease me, and on my part I feel ashamed. Every time that our path cross, I feel so happy, I feel like I'm energize, like he is the only that completes my day. All I feel in my heart there is hope for the both of us but contrary to that, he doesn't feel anything that way.

It makes me hope for nothing. All I know there was right going on between us but that wasn't that formal. He is alive in my mind and in my heart, but the feeling I have for him changed when I learned that he loves someone else and the worst is, it was my best friend. I never thought that this would happen. All I know that the situation was right before I knew everything. My friend just told me that I have nothing to worry because she doesn't like him and she already has a boyfriend.I've been so blind in everything that the guy I love is slowly parting from me. He was sending sweet text messages to my friend and my friend used to forward it to me, for me to be jealous but I keep telling myself that it wasn't true. That all those text messages were all edited before sending to me. But it was to late when I realize to myself that it wasn't I that he does love at all but rather my friend.

After I learned everything, I feel so numbed that I'm just looking at nowhere and don't even care what my friends are telling me. It was totally a great disappointment in my part that the guy I love will never be mine no matter what. My bestfriend just ignore the feeling he has for her. Even though she keeps ignoring his feeling, it is I who can never ignore the pain and the jealous that I feel deep inside my heart. I feel so affected, so depressed because of the unfulfilled love. My tears run down in my eyes as if it would never stops. It was my first time to feel such depression just because of  love. Though I never had a time to bond with him, and so he was because chance never let us to. But the effect to me was so strong it almost ruin my heart.

Behind all the feelings I showed to him, giving up was next in line. I had this feeling that this heart of mine will never be given an attention. So then I've had enough and I give up. I know that it would not be easy for me to move on but still i made a try. That's why it took me how many months before I had forgotten that incident. I never got angry to my friend because she had done no wrong. All I'm blaming here is myself. I've been so deaf on what my friends are telling me that I should not expect too much. Me and my friend still continue the friendship we have started. And the guy, I forgot him already but I still see him in school and I no longer feel something towards him.

This time I've already realized that I should not expect too much on something especially on someone when you are not sure of his feelings for you. And now based on the situation I've gone through I do hope that regret comes first before I invest into something that would cause me in too much pain in the end.